Easier to Run
by NeoHummel
Summary: Shinji has run away again, and Asuka seems to have some problems with that. Short songfic, slight AS. Not the best summary, the story is better


Easier to Run

Disclaimer: I dont't own anything you recognize in this fic as the intellectual property of someone else.

* * *

!SLAM!

The redheaded girl came storming into the apartment she shared with the Wimp and the Slob.  
Yet again he had earned his name, this time by running away, and then left her there alone with the Slob.  
She didn't know why it bothered her that he had ran away, or rather she had an idea she just didn't want to admit it.  
She continued into her bedroom and put on her iPod on some random song, trying to find solace in the music, all the while refusing to admit it was a habit she picked up from _him_.

The haunting intro did the opposite of putting her mind at ease but she didn't have the willpower right now to change the song.

_It's easier to run  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
It so much easier to go  
Than face all this pain here all alone_

When she started listening to the words she started thinking about why he ran away._«Did he think it was easier to run, to just away from the pain?»  
«What am I thinking, of course he thinks that, he always runs away.__»_

_Something has been taken, from deep inside of me  
__The secret I've kept locked away, no one can ever see__  
Wounds so deep they never show, they never go away  
Like moving pictures in my head, for years and years they've played_

She had a secret locked away deep down, how she found her mother hanging in that hospital room next to that _doll__.  
«What did I do wrong mother, why did you leave me alone with Papa and Mama?»_  
She could never get rid of that image.

_**If i could change I would, take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I've made I would****  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would  
If i could change I would, take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I've made I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
I would take all my shame to the grave**_

The girl kept thinkin back to all her memories revolving around the boy, how she would always beat on him, calling him a baka and a hentai._  
«I know why he ran, it's because I always yell at him, I always cause him pain.»_

_It's easier to run  
Replacing this pain with something more.  
It's so much easier to go  
Than face all this pain here all alone.  
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past  
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have.  
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back  
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past_

_«The nightmares came every night when I was in Germany, then that week when we were sleeping next to eachother, I didn't have those dreams.»  
«Sometimes I even think of joining mother, then I remember my promise, never to cry again, never to be weak.»_

_**If i could change I would, take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I've made I would****  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would  
If i could change I would, take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I've made I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
I would take all my shame to the grave**_

_«If he came back I should probably start being nicer to him, that old saying comes to mind «You dont't know what you have until you've lost it.»»_

_Just washing it aside  
All of the helpnessness inside  
Pretending I don't feel misplaced  
It's so much simpler than change_

_«I always hide behind my tough exterior, because I don't want to let people in where they can hurt me.»_

_It's easier to run  
__Replacing this pain with something numb__  
It's so much easier to go  
Than face all this pain here all alone._

By now she had started crying for she had realized something very important, she didn't want to live in the past, and it was because of her baka roommate, somehow her feelings for the boy had changed, and now she needed him in her life.  
But she didn't know where he was or how to get in touch with him, all she could do was hope that he would be back.

_It's easier to run**  
If i could change I would, take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I've made**  
It's easier to go**  
If i could change I would, take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I've made I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
I would take all my shame to the grave**_

!Click!

«Tadaima»

«A-Asuka? Are you crying?»


End file.
